So you've got a friend. He's good for a laugh or two, but he has one irritating problem - he reads you like a book. Not metaphorically - he actually reads your thoughts, your diary entries, potentially your most intimate secrets. It's kind of like the ethereal version of the peeping-Tom, only - it's your fault because you left your ethereal windows open. Enter the Yarmulke of protection-against-mental-eavesdroppers - effectively, your window shutters in a high-tech age of ethereal peeping-Toms.
Yarmulke of protection-against-mental-eavesdroppers
Simple don the yarmulke of protection-against-mental-eavesdroppers atop your (ideally) well-proportioned head. It will be like slamming the window shutters on the window to your soul. If the ethereal peeping-Tom happens to be present when you don, he may even get his ethereal fingers trapped in the ethereal shutters.